DESIRE : ESTHER PEREL

 Esther Perel's perspective on desire centres on its existential nature, highlighting its role in expressing our wants and defining our modern lives. 

She emphasises that desire thrives on novelty and otherness, requiring a balance between security and freedom, connection and mystery. Perel also notes that desire can be rekindled by actively engaging in eroticism, exploring sensuality, and focusing on emotional intimacy. 

• Desire as Existential:

  Perel views desire as a fundamental aspect of the human experience, expressing our individual wants and shaping our sense of self. 

  
  

  The Paradox of Desire:
• She explores the tension between the need for security and the desire for novelty and adventure in relationships, suggesting that both are necessary for desire to flourish. 

  
  

  Reviving Desire:
• Perel emphasizes the importance of cultivating eroticism, not just in the bedroom but also through sensory experiences and emotional connection. 

  
  

  The Role of Otherness:
• She highlights that desire often thrives on what is different or unknown, emphasizing the need to appreciate the otherness of our partners. 

  
  

  Addressing Desire Mismatches:
• Perel acknowledges the common issue of mismatched libidos in relationships and suggests that open communication, redefining intimacy, and focusing on emotional connection can help bridge these gaps. 

  
  

  Emotional Intimacy and Desire:
• She stresses the importance of emotional intimacy as a foundation for sexual satisfaction and the potential to rekindle desire through rekindling emotional connection. 

  
  

  Security and Desire:
• While security is essential for a relationship, too much security can stifle desire. Perel suggests that a balance between security and freedom is crucial for maintaining passion.